The Fluff: Spoilers Suck (and Game Freak Hates Me)


Hello, my dear PUCLonians, and welcome back, finally, to The Fluff! I must first of all apologize for the long delay on this article. I finally collapsed under the weight of all the spoilers we were bombarded with over the past few months, and only my fellow PUCL people’s valiant efforts in digging me out from underneath that endless pile made it possible for me to be here today. (A special thanks to all of you folks, you know who you are.)

Is this drama going to go on for much longer, or are you putting out an actual article today?

Oh, Whimsicott, how I missed you. But yes, let’s get on with it. As you’ve seen already in Sublime and Snag’s articles, we’re discussing spoilers about Sun and Moon and how much we love or hate them (or loathe them with the passion of a billion bursting supernovas, as is my case).

(Disclaimer: I whine a lot in this article, and yes, of course all of my woes could have been avoided by, you know, not watching the trailers or reading the spoilers. But how could I choose staying unspoiled over getting to interact with my PUCL peeps (and anything related to Pokémon) for the last 8 months?)

What We Know So Far


Everything. Just freaking EVERYTHING. Or at least, that’s what it feels like to me. I went to Serebii and did a head count: the Pokémon officially revealed as of today are exactly 60. We know Pikipek evolves twice, and it’s quite likely other Pokémon we know are not alone in their evolutionary line. Which, given the number of total Pokémon that came from the data mine (which I had someone tell me, because I am avoiding the data mine spoilers like the plague), means the number of Pokémon left in the game which are completely new is probably about… ten.

Think about it. You buy a forty dollar game, a game whose appeal is supposed to be meeting all these new Pokémon… and you get to discover a whopping ten of them. I mean, what the heck? Who decided this was a good thing?

Well, you… don’t know the plot?

Except we kind of do. Not all of it, sure, but a lot can be guessed from the various trailers and descriptions. We know about the trials. We know about the Aether Foundation and Type Null and the Ultra Beasts. We now even know about the impending birth of the Alola league. We know the equivalent of the best surprise of any Pokémon game ever: that you get to fight Red at the end, which is, hello, post-game. If you played Gen II unspoiled, you might remember an amazing feeling of shock and awe as you got to the top of Mt. Silver and met yourself from the previous game… and you challenged you (ahem) to the most epic battle ever.

What surprises are left for us? What’s going to have us gaping at the screen, gripping our 3DS almost to the breaking point, and jumping with the need to scream at someone about it right now? Can you imagine something? Because, frankly, I’m having a hard time doing that.

Uh… Maybe… Er… yeah, I got nothing, too.

But pretty much every trailer so far had that effect on me, and on most of the PUCL folks I talk to. We got, what, about 18 trailers? Surely not all of those jaw-dropping reveals were necessary to build hype and get more people to buy the game. In fact…

What could we have done without knowing?

According to my personal preference, oh, EVERYTHING. (Again.) Except for the three unevolved Starters, Solgaleo and Lunala. Objectively, I of course realize you can’t build that much hype on so little. But so many things we got in the trailers were either so out there that we didn’t need to know beforehand, because we were not wondering about them at all, or irrelevant enough that they probably generated a completely negligible amount of hype. I mean, we were able to do an entire episode of the podcast about Alolan Pokémon that had already been forgotten over a month before the game came out. If that’s not insane, I don’t know what is.

Like, take all of these Pokémon. Morelull? What exactly did it bring to the hype train?

No offense, cousin.
No offense, cousin.

And what about Komala, or Drampa, or Cutiefly and Ribombee? Did we really need to see Wimpod and Comfey beforehand? And what about Pyukumuku or Crabrawler? Some of them have new Abilities, sure. But did we need to know about all of those in advance? It’s not like the metagame can be built up in advance without knowing any of these Pokémon’s stats, so, even with the mad rush to the European Continental thingy, they could just as well have been revealed in the games themselves. And we sure didn’t need to see so many full evolution lines.

You were super hyped about Comfey, and Ribombee, and so many other revealed Pokémon…

Yes, but I was going to buy the games regardless! Who the heck is buying the games only because of Morelull? All they did by revealing 90% of the new Pokémon was spoil the surprise for some fans. Had they revealed, say, 50% of them, we’d have had plenty for the hype building, but also plenty left to marvel at with the games in our hands. Now, the games are less than two weeks away, and I already know so much that frankly, my hype is very, very low. I feel like I’ve seen most of what these games have to offer, and that there’s not much left for me in them. How could they have messed up enough to make this happen to me, Miss Overly Hyped Forever?

So, yeah. If you can invent a forgetting machine before the end of next week, I’ll be eternally grateful. Until I forget why I owe you my thanks, of course.

Until next time,

The Fluffiest Whimsicott


I discovered Pokémon at 17 and never looked back (thanks, Team Rocket, for making the anime more fun and making me want to pick up the game). I'm now 31 and I'm not in the least ashamed to still love Pokémon... especially Grass types! I'm from Italy, so time zones will be a thing if we want to battle or trade. Sorry in advance. Trivia: my first Pokémon ever was a Charmander.

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