Hello, my dear PUCLonians, and welcome back to The Fluff! As you probably know, Pokémon Go has surprised us with yet another seasonal event; this one is for Valentine’s Day, and it increases Candy output, the duration of romantic showers of petals at lured Pokéstops, and, most of all, my endless frustration when I FINALLY SEE A CHANSEY’S OUTLINE BUT IT’S IN THE SIGHTINGS AND THE GAME DOES NOT HAVE STEPS ANYMORE SO I MISS IT.

Wooooooah. Calm down?

Ahem. I’m sorry, Whimsicott. What I meant is that it increases the spawning of pink Pokémon, so if Lickitung is not your thing, do yourself a favor and don’t turn on the game until after the 15th, ‘kay?

Anyway, it inspired me to think about which Pokémon are pink… and in the vein of my old article about a rainbow-colored Pokémon team, I decided to build a pink-only one! (That’s using the official Pokédex colors, which say hot pink Minior is red. Darn.) And I’m now going to be sharing it with you, in case you’re feeling the romantic atmosphere, or in case you want to mock someone by beating them with an entirely pink team. (Disclaimer: this team sucks abysmally, because pink Pokémon are, unsurprisingly, rather lacking in variety when it comes to types and stat distribution. I did win a battle with it on Showdown, but… yeah. It still sucks.)

Our Attacker


Tapu Lele @ Choice Scarf

Ability: Psychic Surge

EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe

Timid Nature

IVs: 0 Atk

– Psychic / Psyshock

– Moonblast

– Focus Blast

– Hidden Power [Fire] / Shadow Ball

Yeah, pink Pokémon tend to be very defensive. So, in the absence of Diancite, this was our best bet for having some kind of offensive power. Pink Pokémon are also generally dreadfully slow, so Teacups (that’s short for Princess Teacup, because my nicknames never fit… although PrinceTeacup would, so I might go with that), who at least has very decent speed, is wearing a fashionable Scarf.

And it does look quite fabulous in it, if I may say.

Psychic is more powerful, but aside from one member, this team is sadly all Special, so Psyshock might be a great idea. If your Tapu Lele doesn’t have HP Fire, Shadow Ball is great. In fact, it might be great even if you do have HP Fire, but since Scizor and Ferrothorn make this team cry (even harder)… I hope your Lele has HP Fire.

Our Reliable Marvelous Water Snake


Milotic @ Leftovers

Ability: Marvel Scale

EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpA

Bold Nature

– Scald

– Ice Beam

– Recover

– Dragon Tail

This is one of my favorite Milotic sets. Ruby is usually a staple of my teams, and since we hate Steel-type moves with a passion, a nice bulky Water type is just what Doctor Audino ordered.

Doctor Audino is sadly absent from this team because poor orphaned baby Pokémon need saving… elsewhere.

I picked Dragon Tail over the usual Toxic because it’s not usually expected, it can mess some Pokémon up (especially if you get rocks up), and this team contains ample set-up fodder, so Ruby might save the day with that move. Marvel Scale because it makes Ruby incredibly hard to kill, although please beware of Toxic. And speaking of bewaring…

Our Super Cuddly Teddy Bear


Bewear @ Assault Vest

Ability: Fluffy

EVs: 252 HP / 252 Atk / 4 SpD

Adamant Nature

– Hammer Arm

– Earthquake

– Shadow Claw

– Thunder Punch / Return

Physical attackers among pink Pokémon are almost nonexistent, but thankfully Gen VII dropped this giant red panda in our laps. Well, adjacent to our laps, hopefully, because we like having legs.

Aw, won’t you let this sweetheart share the couch with you?

Look, my feet fall asleep enough when my boyfriend’s giant puppy dog sits on them, and she weighs exactly one third of a Bewear. I need my feet. Anyway, Cuddlefest is slow and we have no illusions about him outspeeding anyone, so we might as well use Hammer Arm, right? And then, since he’s slow and will take hits, we give him all the bulk he can get. Thunder Punch is coverage that this team sorely needs, but if you want double STAB, Return will hit really, really hard on stuff that resists Fighting.

But only if you let your Bewear cuddle you enough.

Our Unlikely Cleric


Lurantis @ Leftovers

Ability: Contrary

EVs: 252 HP / 4 Def / 252 SpD

Calm Nature

IVs: 0 Atk

– Defog

– Aromatherapy

– Synthesis

– Leaf Storm

Lurantis is a Pokémon whose stats, abilities and movepool just do not agree with each other. But a cleric is nice to have, as is someone who can take hits that would be super effective on Milotic. So Yukata is born. Keep hazards away, heal status, heal yourself, and if all else fails, throw a Contrary Leaf Storm out there and see if you can get a second one off.

Serperior refused to paint himself pink for this job, so Lurantis will have to do.

Even though it is very slow, like most pink Pokémon, so keep that in mind as well.

Our OG Pink Blob


Chansey @ Eviolite

Ability: Natural Cure

EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpD

Bold Nature

– Seismic Toss

– Soft-Boiled

– Thunder Wave

– Counter

Scarfed or super fast special attackers are a bane to this team. So why not use the most famous of pink sponges? Chansey goes well on almost any team, as long as you keep in mind how horribly passive Eggna Mode can be.

Hey, watch out, I think you might hurt her feelings.

Well, if I do, that’s what Counter is there for! I love Counter on Chansey. You can maybe pull it off one time out of ten, but when you do, the satisfaction is huge. Thunder Wave over Toxic because, as we said, this team is slow as heck, and we don’t have Aromatherapy on Chansey, so we want to heal status by switching around with Natural Cure and are not planning on sitting on the field forever.

Our Other OG Pink Blob, With A Twist


Clefable @ Leftovers

Ability: Unaware

EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpD

Bold Nature

IVs: 0 Atk

– Calm Mind

– Moonblast

– Fire Blast

– Stealth Rock / Wish /Softboiled

Our other answer to being set-up bait is Unaware Clefable. It’s hard to go wrong with Calm Mind Clefable, although having chosen Unaware over Magic Guard, we have to be mindful of status. Choco-Berry has Fire Blast because this team needs a Fire-type move more than I need air, and Stealth Rock because I have a terrible habit of trying to make my Clefable do seventeen jobs at once.

At least this time Lurantis has her covered on the cleric front.

I suppose so. Of course, this set feels the lack of a recovery move quite hard, so I slashed in Wish (and Softboiled if you have a crazy Gen III Clefable). But if you do remove Stealth Rock, remember to look at Milotic’s Dragon Tail, because that becomes less pretty.

I don’t think Milotic’s tail can ever be not pretty.

… a fair point. Anyway, this is the team! Another couple of great pink Pokémon I didn’t put here are, of course, Mew and Slowbro, but if you think changing shared weaknesses on the team would be good, go for them! Another option that had come to mind was a Trick Room Musharna, which would love Psychic Terrain and might make life easier for this super slow team, but I think that would have been extremely complex to pull off.

What do you think? Do you have any suggestions to improve this team while keeping it All Pink? Would you like me to build more (terrible) themed teams? If you ever use this one, let me know how it went in the comments, and check back in two weeks from now for the next Fluff!

Until next time,

The Fluffiest Whimsicott