*Disclaimer: The Gloom is a satire piece. All names are made up and situations described are not real. Please enjoy this piece with levity.*


Pokemon Sun & Moon was released yesterday to several parts of the world. With the release of these games, voracious Pokemon Go players were eager to take in anything and everything to do with Pokemon, but several of these players ran into some problems.

Paul E. Roth had difficulty finding the game, but not due to a supply issue. “I heard there was a new Pokemon game out so I went to the App store on my phone to try to download it but I couldn’t find it. It was no where to be found.” By chance, Roth was at his local Walmart when they were putting the games out and grabbed a copy of Pokemon Moon. “I saw Pokemon and just had to grab a copy right away. When I opened it, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with the little plastic square. I touched it to my phone, and it didn’t do anything. Then one of my friends said it wasn’t on a regular phone, but a phone called ‘3DS’. Weird name for a phone.”

Some people received the proper equipment but still had some difficulties with it. “I went to Best Buy and bought a 2DS and Pokemon Moon,” Kady Bar said. “I put the cartridge into the system and started playing. I walked around my neighborhood for a half hour and my avatar didn’t move at all! It didn’t even look like my neighborhood in the game! How do people play this?” I’m not quite sure how she got that far without using the D-pad on the handheld system, but she managed it.

Marc Hamp was prepared for this event. When Pokemon Go came out, he played it and found out what he needed to get ready for the upcoming games. “I bought a New 3DS but figured I would wait for the new games to come out in the fall before I played anything else.” Hamp was able to start the game but was disappointed in the result. “I was expecting to get to start with Bulbasaur, Charmander, or Squirtle like in Pokemon Go, but I had to pick an owl, a cat, and a… blue clown dog? I don’t know… Anyway, there weren’t, like, any of the Pokemon from Pokemon Go in there. Except this stupid thin palm tree they call an Exeggutor. What is that? I miss classic fat Exeggutor,” Hamp lamented

Pokemon Sun & Moon is currently available in all parts of the world except Europe, where it will release on November 23rd.