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Ahoy PUCL Onions! Capt. Gravy here with another edition of Trainers of Kanto. But first, a public service announcement.

The S.S. Gravy has seen better days. Recently, my fair ship and her crew have been the constant prey of an ancient and ghostly vessel bearing only the name: News Dump. This spectral schooner with its tattered sails and hole-pocked keel pursues us night after night with a deadly weapon. It is known only as “The News Cannon” and that ship’s cadaverous crew shows no mercy in its use. Always, we hear the retort of the cannon before we see the projectile rush toward our ship. Beware of this danger upon the seas! Methinks these missiles do strange things to the mind of my crew. My crew! Strong and bold in the onslaught of raging Gyarados, my men do weep and slobber like ninnies.

Already several of them have left in a dingy to return to the safer waters of the Kalos and Hoenn regions–where Mega Evolution is guaranteed and Pokémon appear in familiar forms. Those of us that are left, the better parts of us, work to repair and prep our Fair Lady Ship for the next ambush of the News Dump’s dreadful weapon on our way, ever-forward, to the Alola region.

Ten Little Men

Stay with me
And bear to see
A ten-sided coin
Of memory.
They might be small
But toil! My pen!
Help tell the story
Of Ten Little Men.

Ten Little Men’s earliest memory as a trainer is when he was 4 years old or so and bugging his older brother to let him play Pokémon Blue Version. He remembers all ten of his selves huddled on the bunk bed of his brother waiting to play. Finally, his brother decided to give Ten Little Men a taste of what it was like to be a Pokémon trainer. He dropped Ten Little Men into the midst of Diglett Cave and taught him how to KO Diglett with a Pidgeotto. After some time of this butchery, Ten Little Men was taught how to capture Pokémon. He is proud to recall, on ten separate occasions, that his first Pokémon was unusual, Dugtrio. He believes this capture foreshadowed his own glorious multiplicity.

Small Beginnings

Small Beginnings

Speaking of which, this assortment of selves influences Ten Little Men’s favorite Pokémon, Magneton. “I always liked Magneton a lot. I love its design and, as Ten Little Men, I like the fact that it is composed of three Magnemites.” Magneton is also dear to his ten little hearts because the Magnet Pokémon’s nuzlocke performance. Ten Little Men is an avid Nuzlocker. On his first Nuzlocke journey through Ruby, he used Sprite, a mighty and loyal Magneton. He has since had Magneton on his team during four other Nuzlocke challenges (FireRed, White 2, Y, and Emerald) and this has cemented the three-bodied Magnet as his favorite.

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Ten Little Men hails from a wondrous and strange land known only as Canada. In this remote and distant country, the inhabitants slide effortlessly across frozen landscapes, making quick sport of it with sticks and a small, black object called a ‘puck.’ They named this sport ‘Hockey’ and it was while watching his brother compete in these frigid games that Ten Little Men recalls other sweet memories as a budding Pokémon trainer. He found it hard to enjoy his brother’s antics on the ice and instead focused on the game that was nearer to his heart. Other Pokéfans took notice of this and, despite the shame that comes with shunning Hockey, they would discuss Pokémon with Ten Little Men. He met many people this way including his best pal and fellow PUCLonion, Woody. Their brothers played on the same team, so they spent a lot of time together, developing themselves as trainers.

Canada

Canada

It was during one of these sibling Hockey games that Ten Little Men was trying to evolve his Chingling in the Old Chateau. To his surprise, a blue Ghastly appeared from among the battered corpses of its brethren. This was not Ten Little Men’s first shiny (there’s ten of them, the odds are pretty good for them), but this was the first shiny he got to capture alongside a friend. Ten Little Men took some pride in the fact that Woody did not even know that shiny Pokémon existed until that moment.

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Since then, Ten Little Men has become a very active member in the PUCL community. He was a Summer League Gym leader and a proud attendee of PUCLcon 2016. “I love this community, and meeting some of its members in person was a life-changing experience.” Because he has recently gotten interested in the TCG, one of his goals is to build his first real-life TCG deck. He also has aspirations of competing in one of the large scale official Pokémon tournaments, such as Nationals or Worlds in the VGC. He also dreams of one day winning a PUCL sanctioned tournament. He feels that by accomplishing these things, he can finally call his ten selves Pokémon Masters.

Now, I’m off again to document more stories and to perhaps survive the assault of News Dump, Arceus willing. Comment below and let Ten Little Men know what you thought of his tale. Also, let me know if you wish to provide shelter for me and my crew as I record your story to share with the PUCL community!