Whimsicott’s Whimsical Wanderings – Celadon City (part 1)
Hello, my dear PUCLonians, and welcome back! After our pleasant stay in Pallet Town, a very kind traveler I met at a crossroads suggested I check out the bustling hub of Kanto’s commercial life… and the site of its best Gym, the Grass-type one! I was delighted at the idea, and I immediately headed to the colorful Celadon City!
Population: 68 (at one point it reached 82, but the extra people were mostly Team Rocket)
Notable residents: Gym Leader Erika, Eusine
Celadon is located in the very center of Kanto, and is the busiest city in the region, although not the largest (that distinction goes to Saffron City). It is accessible by Route 16 in the East (coming up from Fuchsia City through the Cycling Road) and by Route 7 in the West, coming straight from Saffron. Many of Celadon’s numerous residents live in the Celadon Condominiums, which also host the regional headquarters of a minor company called Game Freak (I think they produce some kind of software, or something like that). The city has, like most others, an ever-useful Pokémon Center, but Celadon’s main attractions are certainly the Celadon Department Store, which is the largest shop in all of Kanto, the Celadon Game Corner, a gambling establishment with a very shady history, and, of course, the Pokémon Gym, run by Miss Erika, the Nature-Loving Princess!
To accommodate all the visitors, the city has a rather luxurious hotel, called simply the Celadon Hotel. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you much about it, as Pokémon are not allowed to stay there… quite the missed business opportunity, in my opinion. I mean, who wouldn’t want to have me as a customer? Sure, I could only pay in Pecha Berries, and I do have a slight (slight!) tendency to fill every room with adorable tiny balls of fluff, but I promised up and down I wouldn’t prank the other guests, and they still wouldn’t budge from their policy! So close-minded.
A more useful person is the Move Tutor, who teaches Softboiled to certain Pokémon. Perhaps to stem the influx of green Trainers who would only try to use the move to have breakfast, he has chosen to live in a delightfully pretty house which can only be reached by Surfing across a small pond of water. Since the hotel wouldn’t have me, I flew over the pond and spent my first night in Celadon in the soft, comfy flowerbed in front of his house… the face he made when he opened his window in the morning was truly priceless.
On the second day of my stay in Celadon I visited the Department Store, hoping to find some fashionable, yet affordable accessories (I know Prof. Oak said I look nice just as I am, but what can I say, when it comes to pretty, shiny things, I am much like my fellow Pranksters Murkrow and Klefki: I just can’t resist them!)
Celadon Department Store
I decided to be a traditional customer, and opted to walk in through the main doors and not through a window or from the rooftop. The first floor is mainly a reception area, although I must mention that the receptionist was quite a bit more welcoming to me than the folks at the hotel were.
On the second floor is the Trainer’s Market, which is, as the name suggests, filled with stupid items that require stuff like fingers and such to be used (Berries are so much better). They had several types of Poké Ball on display, but I wouldn’t be caught in one of them even if I was asleep and at 1 HP: they were so plain! If a Trainer ever wants to try and catch me, they’d better have something much fancier. Apparently this floor is a gathering place for unfashionable folks, because I met a Trainer with weird hair there who was looking to buy a cape… to match his Dragon-type Pokémon. I was polite and did not mention that one, Dragon types are sooo pre-Fairy; and two, humans should let their Pokémon be cool on their behalf. A cape? Seriously? On Roserade and Mega Gallade, that’s amazing, because they’re, you know, actual superheroes. But on a human? Pleeease. Although he did look awfully familiar, so maybe he was a famous TV actor, or something. As if that wasn’t enough, I then met another absolute fashion disaster on the same floor… a man with no shirt and a really crazy… thing on his head, which, even for human clothing, made absolutely no sense. He asked me if I wanted to wear a Turtwig mask, and I think I was this close to becoming able to learn Glare. He didn’t ask again.
On the third floor is a TM Shop… I was kind of tempted to buy the one for Sunny Day, so I could take a warm nap whenever and wherever I wanted, but I decided to save that purchase for another time, since Summer is coming soon. Of interest to more tactical Trainers is the presence of another Move Tutor on this floor, who can teach a Pokémon the move Counter. I am of the opinion that getting smacked in the face just so you can smack back harder is not a very brilliant plan, but there you have it.
The fourth floor is home to Wiseman Gifts… and that’s where the shiny stuff is! I spent quite a while gazing into the glimmering depths of the colorful evolutionary stones they sell… the Sun Stone I used for evolving was not nearly as shiny, although it was delightfully warm. I then spent a much bigger while perusing their selection of Poké Dolls. They’re so cute! And so cuddly! I had a really hard time keeping myself from buying one. And then I noticed they did not have a Whimsicott Poké Doll! That, of course, needed to be remedied, so I waited for a quiet moment and sneaked onto he stand, right between a Clefairy Doll and a Jigglypuff one, and then I held really, really still for a while. When the next customer reached for the Clefairy Doll, I jumped up and tried to give him a hug! For some reason, he did not appreciate that one bit. In fact, he shrieked as if I had been a Gastly! Silly human… I may not be as pink as the other Fairies, but I am certainly the fluffiest!
On the fifth floor is a drugstore called “Battle Collection”. Maybe some of those Vitamins might have been good for my health, but honestly, the prices were just silly. I’m sure I can do without.
Finally, on the Rooftop Atrium I found fresh air, a delightfully-located picnic table, and the second best part of the store: the Vending Machines! Cheap, delicious beverages… I got a Soda Pop, and it was so fizzy! And then I got a Lemonade, and it was so sweet! And then another Lemonade came out of the machine, and… well, let’s just say I had to walk down the stairs again, instead of floating down from the roof as I had originally planned.
All in all, the Department Store was a very interesting place, and I’d advise you to visit it even if you’re only planning on browsing without buying. Which is probably what I should have done, because my limited funds were nearly depleted by the deliciousness of those drinks… so I decided to try and get some back by trying my luck at the Game Corner.
Celadon Game Corner
When I entered the Game Corner, I was quite surprised to find that pretty much the only thing I could do was play a game called Voltorb Flip, hosted by a human called, of all things, Mr. Game (I hope that’s not a stage name he chose for himself, because that would be incredibly sad). I was able to use my superior Pokémon intelligence to beat the game and get some money back (or so I thought), and in the meanwhile I chatted with Mr. Game (using the amazing Devon Corp. Pokémon/Human Miracle Translator™!), and he told me the whole story of the place.
The Game Corner was originally built by Team Rocket as a front for their illegal business in the Kanto region. In fact, this very building was the location of the Rocket Hideout, the main foothold of Team Rocket! Mr. Game told me that he had the entrance to the secret stairway sealed, for safety reasons, and to keep his establishment more legitimate-looking. The room was quite pleasant, so I guess he did a good job there. He also told me that he got rid of all the slot machines because, with the bad reputation Team Rocket had given the place, customers kept thinking they were rigged. I guess most humans are way less smart than a Whimsicott (duh), because I kept winning so much at Voltorb Flip that after a while Mr. Game kindly invited me to move to the Prize Corner next door, so I could cash in my winnings and get fabulous prizes.
After figuring out that I could not convert the coins back into money (what a scam!), I followed his advice… and I was absolutely shocked to find out, once I could tear my eyes off the very pretty Silk Scarf displayed in the left window, that the prizes offered in the right window were not objects, but Pokémon! A super cute Eevee, an adorably wonky Porygon and a… well, a frankly creepy Mr. Mime, but he has his rights, too… anyway, they had been kept there for Arceus knows how long, waiting for some human to buy them! My Outrage was more powerful than a Dragonite’s, and I can’t even learn that move! I freed the Pokémon using all the coins I had won… by throwing them as fast as I could at all the humans in the building, until they ran screaming. (One of them yelled out what type of Hidden Power I could use as he left, in case you’re interested in that sort of thing.) I was then free to pick up the keys they dropped and let the poor Pokémon out. As we ran to the woods surrounding Celadon City, I was struck by a realization: if such horrid dealings were still going on in plain sight, could the supposedly abandoned Rocket Hideout be hiding, no pun intended, even worse things?
I decided I had to find out… so I found a way back into the Game Corner and saw that, once again, “sealed” does not mean the same thing to humans and to a Whimsicott. (Seriously, humans, if you don’t make stuff airtight, it’s like an open invitation; don’t whine about finding cotton balls everywhere.)
If you, too, want to know what I found when I reached the Game Corner’s basement, please look for my next report in this very same place. I’d tell you now, but I’m typing this on the Pokémon Center’s PC and a kid who wants to withdraw his Nidorino has been tapping on my shoulder on and off for the past fifteen minutes. In case he has any other Poison types on him, I think it’s wise to let him have his turn now.
Until next time,
The Fluffiest Whimsicott
Whimsicott is contractually obligated to mention the Devon Corp. Pokemon/Human Miracle Translator™ by its full name at least once in every report it is used for. We apologize for the inconvenience.
This article was lovingly translated from Pokémon speech by Mr. Natural Harmonia Gropius. If you wish to enlist his services as a Pokémon-Human translator, you may contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org. All income will go towards feeding and sheltering abandoned Pokémon and covering the cost of Mr. N’s therapy sessions.