Whimsicott’s Whimsical Wanderings – Vermilion City
Hello, my dear PUCLonians! How have you been? I was told my fluffy presence would not be welcome in Misty’s Gym any more (apparently pool filters are quite expensive), so I moved on from Cerulean City and went to visit a place where I could enjoy a bit of sea breeze (and maybe find a cheap ticket to some vacation spot): Vermilion City!
Notable residents: Gym Leader Lt. Surge, Kanto Pokémon Fan Club Chairman
Situated in Southeastern Kanto, Vermilion City is the region’s main harbor, and it hosts an Electric-type Gym (perhaps explaining why no Wingull follow ships to this particular location). To the North, Route 6 leads to Saffron City, and to the East, one can walk along Route 11 to Diglett’s Cave, and further on to Route 12 and Lavender Town.
Probably owing to the great amount of naval traffic in the harbor, most of Vermilion’s citizens are concerned with keeping the sea around them from getting polluted. I’d say that the poor Grimer need a place to live, too, but honestly, there are enough dirty places (and Poison types!) in the world. So go, Vermilion people!
Besides the harbor and the Gym, another interesting place one might want to visit is the local Pokémon Fan Club. A construction site located in the City might also yield another place of interest some day… but probably not soon. Apparently the work has been going for years and is stuck due to lack of funds. Pity.
Pokémon Fan Club
Thinking this was one place where I would surely be welcome, I flew through an open window into the Club House of the Pokémon Fan Club. The atmosphere was indeed lovely, with Trainers petting and admiring their Pokémon and delicious treats on every table. As I munched on a Poffin, a woman approached me and started complimenting my fluff. She was quite startled when I answered her myself (thanks to the Devon Corp. Pokémon/Human Miracle Translator™) and I told her I did not have a Trainer; I, on the other hand, was quite startled when she called over the Fan Club’s Chairman, and he insisted on introducing me to his most beloved Pokémon… and the stupid Rapidash tried to show off to his human by Flame Wheeling me! I Stun Spored his stupid butt and flew out of there as fast as I could (or, should I say, as fast as I could while carrying an entire bowl of Poffins).
All in all, the Pokémon Fan Club was a slight disappointment. But the Poffins definitely weren’t.
As I mentioned, the Vermilion City harbor (its official name is Vermilion Port Entrance) is a very busy one; many important ships dock here, connecting Kanto to Johto, the Sevii Islands and other locations.
Perhaps the most famous (and glamorous!) of the ships one can board in Vermilion City is the S.S. Anne, a luxury cruise liner which makes an annual stop there. Unfortunately, I was unable to time my trip so that I could catch the S.S. Anne in port, which I deeply regret. I would have loved to participate in the many fancy parties held on the ship, meeting elegant people and Pokémon from all over the world… oh, it could have been a marvelous debut! Of course, it’s kind of hard to find an evening dress in a Whimsicott’s size, but I am nothing if not creative. I still have some glitter from that Clefairy party in Pewter, and I’m sure I could have found some glue somewhere. Oh, well. It’s probably better to wait for a classy party I can attend with my dear Empoleon… after all, he kinda wears a tuxedo all the time, so I’d look extra good on his arm… er, flipper!
One very convenient ship that regularly stops at Vermilion is the S.S. Aqua. Thankfully, unlike its name suggests, it is not manned by pirates from Hoenn; instead, it safely carries people and Pokémon between Kanto and Johto (more specifically, Olivine City) twice a week. I did board this ship for a round trip during my stay in Vermilion (mostly because the ship had air conditioning), and found it fast and practical, but sadly lacking in parties.
Finally, one can go to Vermilion to make use of the Seagallop ferries service. Of the seven Seagallop ferries, three stop in Vermilion: Seagallop Hi-Speed 7 travels to all of the Sevii Islands, and can also be used to bring people back from Navel Rock and Birth Island; but as these two places require special permission to visit, one must board Seagallop Hi-speed 10 or Seagallop Hi-Speed 12, respectively, to make the trip to those locations in the first place.
Vermilion City Gym
Leader: Lt. Surge, the Lightning American
Badge: Thunder Badge
The Gym in Vermilion City is… not the most pleasant place I’ve visited, for sure. See, Lt. Surge was in a war, and apparently this left him with a pretty hefty dose of paranoia. So in order to gain access to the back of his Gym, where he awaits challengers, one must disable an electric fence… which just so happens to be the one thing I will not sneak through. It’s true that I resist Electric-type attacks, but I have no intention of coming out on the other side looking like a Jolteon!
So I had to go through the process every Trainer has to… rooting around in garbage cans to find not one, but two randomly placed switches. Do you understand my pain? My ever-clean, perfectly groomed fluff, soiled with filthy trash. Maybe spending a little time resembling a Jolteon would have been preferable to cosplaying as friggin’ Garbodor.
Things didn’t exactly improve when I met Lt. Surge. Here’s the transcript of our interview…
The Fluffiest Whimsicott: Ahem. Lieutenant?
Surge: What? Who goes there? Show yourself, coward!
TFW: Ah… I’m down here.
S: Down where? I can’t see you, kid! Is this a trick? A Dig attack? Raichu!
TFW: AHEM. Further down.
S: Oh! You? You’re so tiny.
TFW: You’re so tall.
S: But wait. How are you speaking? It IS a trick! I knew it!
TFW: Nonononono! See, it’s this thing, it’s a translator. See? I turn it off, and Whimsiiiii!
S: Huh. OK. But where did you get that piece of technology? And why did you bring it here? Are you a spy?
TFW: Arceus! You have such a one-track mind! I’m just a scientist, and I brought this so I could interview you, merely for research purposes.
S: Research on behalf of…
TFW: Me. And, well, Professor Juniper, I guess.
S: Ah! Professor Juniper from Unova! That’s acceptable.
TFW: So I can finally get started with this interview? Thank you. Speaking of Unova… are you from there?
S: No. I’m an American!
TFW: But what does that mean? What’s an America?
S: Only the best country in the world! How can you not know it?
TFW: It’s not on any map! How could I know it?
S: You’ve obviously been looking at the wrong maps. Well, you probably don’t have access to the real ones, now that I think about it.
TFW: The… real ones?
S: Of course! What better way to protect a country than to make sure nobody can find it?
TFW: But… I’ve flown all over the world! There’s no extra land that’s just unaccounted for on my maps! That just doesn’t make sense!
S: To your tactically limited mind, maybe.
TFW: Oh, dear. OK, you know what? Let’s move on. I’m getting a headache, and I don’t think it’s just the stench from the garbage cans. Would you like to discuss your deep bond with your Electric types?
S: Yes! My Pokémon are my most loyal comrades. They’re quick, they’re powerful! They’ve saved me time and again. One time, my plane was hit, and Raichu powered the engine so I wouldn’t crash, and we won the fight! It was a glorious day!
TFW: Well, bringing an Electric type to an aerial fight does sound like an extremely wise idea.
S: I know, right?
TFW: So, why would you establish your Gym right next to a place where any Trainer can catch a fast Ground type?
S: Bah! Not even Ground types are a match for a well-trained squad! Let foolish Trainers try to take us on in easy mode. I have no respect for them. Now, I’ve seen Trainers walk into my Gym with a Wartortle and a couple of Bugs. Those are the people who’ll make something of themselves! You gotta have guts to be a man!
TFW: Or a woman.
S: … Yeah. That, too.
TFW: Well. I think I’ve asked you enough. Also, I desperately want a bath. Thank you for the interview, Lieutenant.
S: Sure thing! Just make sure the intel doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.
TFW: I… sure. Of course. You can trust me.
S: Good. Raichu, salute!
TFW: Ah… you don’t need to… oh, whatever. Here, just let me…
S: Are you… trying to salute?
TFW: … kinda. My arms are nowhere near long enough.
S: Hahaha! That’s true. You should do like Raichu, salute with your tail!
TFW: But I don’t have one!
S: Huh. That’s also true. Well, never mind! It’s the effort that counts! Only by giving it your all you can prevail! Never give up! Never surrender! A true soldier…
TFW: Yeah, I’m outta here. Bye!
Two showers and a bath later (the Pokémon Fan Club has excellent Pokémon grooming facilities, and is incredibly easy to sneak into at night), I am feeling much better. I found Vermilion to be a City of slight contrast; Lieutenant Surge seems at times stuck in the past, while the near-permanent construction site gives the area the impression of reaching for a future it can never quite attain. All this while the people in the Fan Club focus only on their Pokémon, unconcerned by practical issues, and the ships go back and forth from the harbor like clockwork. It has a rather strange feel.
Or maybe it’s just the heat playing with my head.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this report (although if you enjoyed reading about me getting covered in trash, you’re a terrible person), and that you’ll join me for the next one. I think I’ve found a good deal on a possible holiday destination that will also be of scientific interest… we’ll see.
Until next time,
The Fluffiest Whimsicott
Whimsicott is contractually obligated to mention the Devon Corp. Pokemon/Human Miracle Translator™ by its full name at least once in every report it is used for. We apologize for the inconvenience.
This article was lovingly translated from Pokémon speech by Mr. Natural Harmonia Gropius. If you wish to enlist his services as a Pokémon-Human translator, you may contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org. All income will go towards feeding and sheltering abandoned Pokémon and covering the cost of Mr. N’s therapy sessions.